My Saddest Day...for real this time

I thought the day my grandpa died was my saddest day. Then after the viewing and funeral were over yesterday, I realized my saddest day came today. Reality is setting in and it is rough, no lie. The craziness of the past few days has calmed down. No more distraction, no more denial. I have this aching in my heart and it won't ease up. I know time heals all wounds but right now I can only focus on getting through today. Life will never be the same without gramps, but I realize it has to be this way. I'm really trying to take his advise and focus on the positive and wonderful things in my life and stay present for them. I can just hear my grandpa telling me to stop crying about him and enjoy my amazing boys and make the most out of everyday with them. After the funeral yesterday, I am truly inspired by his life and committed to making a difference in the world around me. I just want to thank my friends and family for their amazing support and love through this difficult time. The extra hugs, phone calls, e-mail, flowers and food mean more to me than words can express. I am deeply touched by your concern for me and my family. I couldn't get through this without all of you. I love you so much!

What would I do without these boys and their daddy? They give my life purpose and I am so grateful for them.